It's Tuesday morning. The post has just arrived. I have seen one envelope that makes me feel as if I've swallowed a food mixer. Brown, A4 and I'm sure of what's inside. Sir has seen it too and I know he knows even though he hasn't looked at me.
"Sir, I have something to tell you, something I should have told you before now."
Silence. He simply looks at me with a very slight smile on his lips.
"I'm sorry Sir."
Still silence. I hate this bit, simply HATE it. It screws me up inside more than anything. A couple of weeks ago I was caught in a speed trap. I was on the bike, the long way round from doing some shopping. Clear road, clear day but didn't notice the copper with the radar gun. I even stopped to try and explain it was a "mistake", like he believed that. 81 in a 70. 3 points and sixty quid - plus tax! He said I got off easy.
Trouble is, when I got home I didn't mention it. I don't know why. It's not that I thought he'd beat the shit out of me, he probably will anyway, I just felt such a fool. It's been over three years since my last trip into this territory and now this. And what if, what if he thinks of different ways to punish me, not for speeding but for not owning up. Does he think I don't trust him? God, I hope not. That's the last thing he needs to think. I just don't know why I didn't own up. Embarrassment, looking stupid, letting him down. All of those.
"Sir, I know I should have told you and I know I'm an idiot but I think I got caught in a radar trap on the bike."
He still looks at me in silence.
"I'm really sorry Sir."
Thoughts race through my head, 60 with the cavalry whip, 60 days without the bike, 60 days in chastity? Worst of all, 60 days without him touching me.
He gives me the envelope. I open it. As I expected, £60 plus 3 points.
I show him the summons.
"And you didn't care to mention it because...?"
"I felt such a fool Sir and I didn't want to look a fool in your eyes Sir."
"Well, what's done is done. This is the punishment for a moments recklessness, you'd better pay it."
"Yes Sir, thankyou. It really was a moment's inattention."
"So, you will pay it Sir?"
"Me boi? No indeed. It's your fine. You pay it."
"But I don't have any money Sir, apart from that which you allow for housekeeping and some petrol."
"Should have thought of that should you not, boi?"
"But Sir...If it's not paid in 30 days I could be charged with non payment of a fine, doesn't that carry a custodial sentence?"
"As I said, you should have thought of that."
We look at each other. He sees the fear in my eyes. I look down. Surely he wouldn't.